Spas Florida - Florida County Map Knowledge Base

Florida County Map Knowledge Base

Looking for a platt map of Osceola County Florida?

where can I print a map that shows all the roads of a county in florida?

Florida Broward county lines with streets? .I am looking for a map that will show broward county in Florida displaying streets, highways - highways exits. I especially need to know the exact location of the western border of Broward County. thanks

Are there any maps with the locations of alligators in polk county florida?

What is the least humid county in Florida? Is there a map somewhere that shows humidity levels for regions in the state?

Where can I find soil maps of Polk county florida? Please? Any public record web site.

I would like to find an old map of a small town in missouri. By old, I mean back as far as 150 years ago.? I am looking for an old city or county map of Florida, Missouri. I need either a surveyors map or what ever I can get. Even a written description of the land. I would like it to date back as far as 150 years ago. I need to know if there was an actual settlement or town during the horse and buggy era.

Citrus County Florida Caves location???maps??spelunking fun? i've been to the main caves off of 491 in the withlacoochee state forest like peace cave and the big ones on trail 14. i'd like to cave-diveing/spelunking/chill-in-a-caveing. I've heard allot of rumors about tons of other caves out in that forest and i really wana chem them out. dose anyone know where they are or how to get there? maps would be great and the more detailed you can be the better. whoever can give me the most cave locations with increadable detail gets best answer

Inquire about a Florida, Orange County address? I recently got a tax deed for an apt in a building, in the Orange County, Floida. However, I couldn't find the building on google, map, and I'm from NY. The address is 11100 W Colonial Dr Ocoee, Florida Well, my question is, is the building still exist? if Not, then what do I do with my the tax deed of that apt? I just figure if the government sells the deed, then the property should exist, right? Please help. Thanks.

USA Question: If I wanted to fly to Springhill, Hernando County, Florida from Ireland? What would be the nearest International Airport to fly into and how far would that be from Springhill? I see on the map that there is an airport in Hernando County but need the nearest International one please help, emergency!

Where can I find a map of rivers lakes and streams.? I need a map of rivers lakes and streams in polk county Florida. I have looked every where. anything you post will be a help.

Everyone wondering about the haleigh Cummings, do you have any idea of how messed up Putnam County Florida is? I was born & raised there, my step-daughter goes to an after daycare with Haleigh because she is with her mom, me, hubby,oldest s/d & 2 kids moved out of tha crap county. I don't think you understand what kind of place it is. It is a nasty, pervert infested H*ll hole. Nobody has all there teeth, girls get pregnant at an average of 15yrs old, everyone & yes I mean EVERYONE is on some drug hopefully it's just weed. You don't understand, can you imagine that everyone you ever knew was molested? Putnam County should be blown off the map. It's highly likely the girlfriend did something but I just don't think she's smart enough & emotially mature enough to pull it off. I think it's more likely she left the kids alone & went across the street or had some people in the house that knew the house & took the kid & she doesn't want her boyfriend to know about what she was doing, I had heard from one of my relatives over there that she has a cousin that's a sex offender. My gur feeling is that the girlfriend is lying but it's to cover up drugs or promiscuity, I don't think she killed the kid. Gut * sorry

I need interactive maps of North Florida counties for township, section and range.? Search by property owner name, address or parcel number. I need these for permits and the counties do not provide the maps necessary to find 1/4 section of Section, Township and Range. Thanks!

Florida Fires? I live in Marion County Central Florida. I walk outside and there is ash all over the cars, it is so smoky it is hard to breath! My Husband even said he seen a red ash , (like still hot, something that would fly out of a camp fire) But any ways, I wanted to know where are all the fires now, I heard there are more that have started, and it is obvious because the smoke is ridiculous . The True Question: Can any one give me a website with a map of Florida showing where all the fires are. Please!

Where can I find zip code maps? I need zip code maps for Highlands County and Hardee County in Florida. I have found every other county. I want to be able to print them off. I really don't think that you should have to pay for these, as I only want a printout not a wall sized map. Thanks!

Where could I find a land survey of my property? Is there a government agency that would have this record on file here in Marion County , Florida? I've checked with the local property appraiser's office, all they had was a parcel number and sub division info and location on a map. I'm trying to find the property lines.

where can i find a list/map of the parts of the USA that are pitbull friendly? what states/counties are pitbull friendly? for that matter what specific counties across america are pitbull friendly? here can i find a specific list for california? how about in florida? washington? oregon? thanks in advance!

Are there other rivers that drop underground naturally and reappear miles away like the Santa Fe in Florida? In northcentral Florida(Gainesville, Alachua County) is the Santa Fe River. It flows underground into a sinkhole (the sinkhole is not visible, the river appears to dead end) and then reappears about 3 miles away. The two areas are parks these days, O'Leno and River Rise, and I was curious if anyone knew if this occurred naturally anywhere else in the world? I have been there before and it is really quite fascinating, the former river route is visible and you can see lots of interesting things on the hike from sink to rise. If you look on a map program you'll see the river just disappear for a few miles. Search O'Leno State Park in High Springs I believe. Thanks. Oh, thanks, very interesting. Anyone else know of any?

Can't find precinct maps. Help? I am tryin to find detailed precinct maps for Florida. Specifically Polk County, FL. Is there any way I could see the precincts in a Google-Map style map? Thanks for the help everyone! I already had those links, but thanks. I wish Google would add in the precincts to their maps, thats the kind of map I would like to see, we need to get the ground operations going here in Polk, and I can't find a darn map with that!

Zoning for livestock in Florida? Does anyone know a site that shows a map of it? In Pinealls County?

Do people tend to exaggerate South Florida? I grew up in Florida, and loved it. Though, I feel lots of people exaggerate the lifestyle. I lived in Coral Springs & Tamerac for five years, and then moved to Lake Worth for another five years which is in Palm Beach County. I moved to Georgia when I was in the 5th grade, which sure is different. I see shows like Privileged on the CW, and stuff on TV about how great it is and how wealthy it is. I could only see this if you see those houses on the beach, but that's like everywhere in Florida. I knew the area pretty darn good, and still go there about once a year to visit family. I just never got the vibe of how news and media puts it. I mean they never tell you the bad things such as all those Hurricanes, Humidity, and lots of rain. When people write about it and talk about it just seems like the exaggerate it. I know Palm Beach well and there are some bad spots. I've also been to Miami, and think it is terrible. There is the good spots and the bad spots, but that's everywhere. Has South Florida just drastically changed in the last couple of years? When we lived there we pretty much lived the normal middle class family in a 5 bedroom house. The house market got too expensive, and I know a lot of people who can't afford it anymore. I wanted to go to like NYU or USC for college, but I don't know if it is just TV or real life. I would like to go back to South Florida, but do not see the big picture. I could tell you my parents really didn't like Florida, and my cousins and my brothers were like the only kids to grow up there. When people talk about Florida, they seem like it is paradise. I think it is fine, but not Heaven. It seems it is just a lot of New Yorkers coming down to get some heat. Also, do you consider Florida to be in the South? I say that I'm not from the South, and people ask where am I from. I say Florida, and most people are like that's the South. I mean it is on a map, but no one is from the South. It is so funny because most people think I'm from NY when I never lived there. My mom has a strong accent though. When I came to Georgia it was a big change, when people started to say Y'all. Thanks, and what's your input on how South Florida is today and do you think people glamorize it up?

Law enforcement/ANALYTICAL minds: about this add, Google Map, and codes? For couple of days I have been seeing these ads on Craigslists' Apartments/Housing category in South Florida section advertised by a supposed out of state realtor, who happens to be licensed in Florida. Seeing how ridiculously low the rent price advertised is, I know this is totally fraudulent in the best case scenario, and in the worst it could be some form of communication between some people up to no good. What has mainly alerted me is the fact that one partial street address which she gives and which turns into a complete address (from and by Google Map), situates her supposed property in the middle of downtown, among all government buildings. Another thing I find odd is the tail of "computer or technical numbers and letters" at the end of each of her ads, which takes about half of the advertisement, though there is absolutely no useful information for the customer/renter since none of it is legible. Properties advertise for either $365 or $740. When you click it says $1,400 for six months, then it's $2,500 after that. I doubt very much that all the homes are in exact same design, separated as they are by three counties. Never does a developer, who would happen to design and build hundreds of miles away from each development, do so in the exact same manner. Actually all developers design somewhat similar homes but with complete different added features. And how come it is only penthouses which are available, and all at the exact same price, especially when everyone knows that in Palm Beach county rents are considerably lower than in Miami-Dade county? Least we can say is that this person is misrepresenting everything and misleading the public. But to all analytical minds out there, can you take a look to see, just in case this is not only this but something more sinister?

the mtv show laguna beach? is the show in california or florida? because when i look on the map in california orange county nor laguna are on the map but they both are on the map in florida. but then it doesnt look like it be in florida because that doesnt look like florida on the show. so florida or california?

Ocala Florida? Any one ever been to Ocala? Know anyone from there? *Home of John Travolta *The place where them 5 boys all just got killed on an air strip in a car... flew 200 ft... *In Marion County Horse Capitol of the world and Lighting Capital! Just trying to see what a small world it is... and if Ocala is yet on the map next to Miami, Orlando, and Tampa!

Moving to Orlando, FL (Orange County) help? Is it that bad? Moving to Orange County Orlando, FL help? Is it that bad? I'll be attending the International Academy of Art and Design this summer and I'll be moving to Orange County Orlando next month. The apartments I'll be moving into are called Millenia West it's on S Texas Ave and it's near an Americana Blvd. Apartment Area code: 32839 International Academy of Design and Technology Area code: 32809 I've heard really bad things about the area but I'm hoping it's not as bad as it seems. You know how some places have certain streets that you just don't go down? And certain streets that are a little safer... is this area like that? Is S Texas Ave one of the safer streets? I've already paid money to hold the apartment and the lady says that other college students live there... so if other students live in the apartments can't be that bad right? I hope I haven't made a terrible mistake... This is the apartment that I am getting ready to rent out http://www.berkshireapartments.com/realpage/realpage.aspx?prpURL=milleniawest The location should be on the website too... I seriously hope I haven't made a mistake... I've grew up in a ghetto up north and I've seen the ghettos in Florida as well, but these apartments don't look as ghetto... And it seems to be set back from the rest of the neighborhood... Is it that bad? I'm currently in West Palm Beach and over here one side is really ghetto and the otherside (where I live) is very nice. Hopefully Orange County is like that too... I mean that's where the International Academy of Design and Technology is located, a college wouldn't be located in a really ghetto area would it? ...I was looking on Google maps' satellite view, and the area looked very decent... kind of like a small town... The apartment is about a 20 min walk from the school... I don't have a car ...I think I've made a huge mistake... :'( But I've paid already... :(

Moving to Orange County Orlando, FL help? Is it that bad? I'll be attending the International Academy of Art and Design this summer and I'll be moving to Orange County Orlando next month. The apartments I'll be moving into are called Millenia West it's on S Texas Ave and it's near an Americana Blvd. Apartment Area code: 32839 International Academy of Design and Technology Area code: 32809 I've heard really bad things about the area but I'm hoping it's not as bad as it seems. You know how some places have certain streets that you just don't go down? And certain streets that are a little safer... is this area like that? Is S Texas Ave one of the safer streets? I've already paid money to hold the apartment and the lady says that other college students live there... so if other students live in the apartments can't be that bad right? I hope I haven't made a terrible mistake... This is the apartment that I am getting ready to rent out http://www.berkshireapartments.com/realpage/realpage.aspx?prpURL=milleniawest The location should be on the website too... I seriously hope I haven't made a mistake... I've grew up in a ghetto up north and I've seen the ghettos in Florida as well, but these apartments don't look as ghetto... And it seems to be set back from the rest of the neighborhood... Is it that bad? I'm currently in West Palm Beach and over here one side is really ghetto and the otherside (where I live) is very nice. Hopefully Orange County is like that too... I mean that's where the International Academy of Design and Technology is located, a college wouldn't be located in a really ghetto area would it? ...I was looking on Google maps' satellite view, and the area looked very decent... kind of like a small town... The apartment is about a 20 min walk from the school... I don't have a car ...I think I've made a huge mistake... :'( :(

NEED HELP WITH Math homework Please help me with it if you would please.? A local paper, The Know-it-All, decided to run a story on how most Americans were planning to spend the upcoming weekend. It was the third week in January and most reporters were already out covering top stories. So, the editor decided to give one of the new reporters a chance to cover this topic. The reporter, who called himself "Ace," needed to choose a sample to survey. He looked at a map and chose a county in Southern Florida. Ace conducted a survey of 50 people, including men, women, and children. Then, he proudly handed in his article, titled "78% of Americans Will Soon Head to the Beach!" Is Ace's story an example of biased statistics? Explain your answer. Rewrite Ace's title to better reflect his sample set. What sample set could Ace have chosen to better represent the targeted population? Describe how you might survey your selected sample set. What method of sampling would you use? If you were Ace's editor, would you run this story? Explain your answer

broward school boundaries...? does anyone know if there going to change the school boundaries in broward county, south florida, if so what schools and if you have a map, that'll help...thank you

Early Admission or stay in a public highschool? I am a (for the first time) straight-A junior currently taking AP Physics B, AP Chemistry, and AP Calculus AB (already self taught all calculus BC topics just practicing until I can't get it wrong) at a competitive high school in my county in Florida. (top 30 in state) I have two options. I will be taking Summer: (temporal dual enrollment 8 credit hours/8 allowed) -MAC 2312 Calculus II (5) -MAS 2103 Linear Algebra (3) and ====Choice A==== Stay in my county competitive high school and take: Senior: -AP Physics C -AP Statistics -AP Psychology -AP Environmental Science -AP Biology -Honors Government and Economics -Honors English Semester 1: MAC 2313 Calculus III (5) Semester 2: MAP 2302 Differential Equations (3) ====Choice B==== Apply for Early Admission at a rolling admissions community college, or a nearby four year university that is not guaranteed but very good chance. Senior Semester 1: (15 credit hours) -ENC 1101 Composition I (3) -MAC 2313 Calculus III (5) -POS 2041 American Government (3) -PHY 2048 Physics with Calculus I/Mechanics (4) Senior Semester 2: (13 credit hours) -ENC 1102 Composition II (3) -MAP 2302 Differential Equations (3) -ECO 2013 Macro Economics (3) -PHY 2049 Physics with Calculus II/Electromagnetism (4) I plan to major in aerospace engineering and minor in math but which looks better to engineering schools like Georgia Tech? These credits are transferable to this school and all other back-up schools in Florida. (I checked) I don't burn and I'm going to eventually know calculus III topics before my junior year ends. I am involved in clubs and work.

Best maps for drivers? I've just learned how to drive, I'll be needing to go to school, a little far away. I need to find out where to order the best maps for drivers. These maps should be of Palm Beach County, around Lake Worth and Boca Raton, in Florida. I know there are technological advances, that now people use those satellite little boxes that tell you everything, but not everyone can afford them, so I'll have to do with maps. But I don't know where to order them. Anyone can tell me, I'd be very grateful. I've tried some websites, with little results. I'm not trying to print out maps, I need to find those clear solid maps. Help me please, Yahoo Answers geniuses! Help Archange find his way out of this!

Why is Obama scared of tackling "gay issues" like he promised he would? I am a Gay Democrat and I worked over 140 hours on the Barack Obama campaign... I registered 500 new voters at my college on his behalf. I spent money I didn't have and I went door to door and talked to my neighbors (many of whom are Republican) and did a lot of damage control for Barack Obama. Furthermore, I live in a Swing County in a Swing State (Florida). My main motivation for doing this is because Barack Obama PROMISED that he would repeal DOMA and Don't Ask, Don't Tell. But now he's acting just like a Republican when it comes to gay rights... Do you think Obama can count on my automatic vote and support again in 3 years? Republicans might have an opportunity to clean up in 4 years without a bunch of Gay Lobbying money going to Democrats anymore... And the Libertarians might be able to put themselves on the map by running a gay-friendly candidate instead of Bob Barr (who is the author of DOMA). Would you vote for a gay friendly Libertarian?

Could Obama win Texas in the next election? Is there any way for Republican to become President w/o Texas? I grew up there and even the Democrats were conservative. They were Boll Weevils and Blue Dogs. Texas is now 37% Hispanic and 12% black or 49%. Last election every single office in Dallas County change from Republican to Democrat. http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/48000.html With Republicans talking about shipping peoples' families out of the State Harry Reid says that it is an Oxymoron to say Hispanic and Republican. If Obama is starting with 49% before he starts running I think the President is Democrat for a century. Today it is pretty much whoever take Florida is President. It is the big swing State. If Texas becomes a swing state Florida is irrelevant. http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://politicalmaps.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/karl-rove-electoral-map-2008.png&imgrefurl=http://politicalmaps.org/karl-rove-and-cos-electoral-maps/&h=444&w=593&sz=119&tbnid=bMo-fmnP2HviAM:&tbnh=101&tbnw=135&prev=/images%3Fq%3Delectoral%2Bmap&usg=__jQsejWEOz25AcNCXFwtHOcrNWKQ=&sa=X&ei=Vn9jTLbBNsL7lweFo7GvCQ&ved=0CDcQ9QEwBA http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_upshot/harry-reid-suggests-hispanic-republicans-are-a-paradox I am not Collin Quinn nor is my avatar. I looked him up. He does not look like me either..LOL These are no illegals in fact when I was born Texas was 45% Hispanic. We used to be part of Mexico.

can anyone help me sum this up to 500 words (or less) please help me ? PLANNING TO MAKE DISNEY! Walt Disney planed to make Walt Disney World (WDW) before the 1964 Fair. Walt decided to find a location in Florida. Land was cheap, the weather was always warm, and more and more people were moving to and vacationing in Florida. However, Walt decided that he didn't want to locate his park along the coast for two reasons: He didn't want to have to deal with hurricanes, and he didn't want people coming to his park in bathing suits.Walt started secretly buying land in FL in conclusion to the fair.The box office success of Mary Poppins provided support to the company coffers right when the land purchases and attraction development began. In fact, a separate company that Walt founded, called Mapo (since the movie's success financed the moonlighting outfit), was the focus of the Florida project for several years. Mapo was eventually merged into the Imagineering department several years later. His team-which included his brother Roy, General Joe Potter (whom Walt met during the construction of the New York World's Fair), and several other members of the inner circle of Walt Disney Productions-started looking at available parcels of land in Central Florida. “Project X” was underway. After considering three possible sites in Florida, a location on the border of Orange and Osceola counties was chosen in 1964. Dummy corporations were set up and Disney agents, led by Robert Foster, secretary and general counsel for Disneyland, began buying land under phony names. Walt had the team work as quickly as possible, for he knew that as soon as word got out about a massive Disney land acquisition, property costs would go up tremendously. At one meeting, there was a large parcel of land in Orlando available for about $100 per acre. Walt said, “Buy it!” Roy asked, “But Walt, we already own 12,000 acres. Do we have the money?” Walt replied, “Roy, how would you like to own 7,000 acres around Disneyland right now?” to which Roy immediately responded, “Buy it!” Foster worked as surreptitiously as possible, flying through other cities so that his travel could not be traced directly back to California. He even made highly visible visits to the World's Fair construction site, only to quietly disappear to Florida the next day. The three earliest acquisitions would be 12,400 acres owned by a group of Orlando home builders, 1,250 acres owned by an Orlando investment group, and 8,500 acres owned by Florida state senator Irlo Bronson. The first major problem was acquiring the mineral rights for the 12,400-acre property, which Tufts University still owned after the surface rights were purchased by the Orlando home builders. Mineral rights were important since without it, Disney could not dig underground without permission, and Tufts could tear down any structure to get to the minerals. After the major properties were locked in, they began concentrating on all of the small outparcels. The acquisitions were tracked on a large map back at WED headquarters in Burbank, which Walt would check daily. By the time they were done, Disney owned over 27,000 acres, which came out to about 43 square miles-about twice the size of Manhattan, the same size as San Francisco, and about 150 times larger than Disneyland. please help id be very greatfull thank you!! (oh yea if u have any sujestions on punctuation or something like tht or if somethingz a fragment plz help!)

how many words are in this whole essay? Planning to Make Disney! Walt Disney planed to make Walt Disney World (WDW) before the 1964 Fair. Walt decided to find a location in Florida. Land was cheap, the weather was always warm, and more and more people were moving to and vacationing in Florida. However, Walt decided that he didn't want to locate his park along the coast for two reasons: He didn't want to have to deal with hurricanes, and he didn't want people coming to his park in bathing suits.Walt started secretly buying land in FL in conclusion to the fair.The box office success of Mary Poppins provided support to the company coffers right when the land purchases and attraction development began. In fact, a separate company that Walt founded, called Mapo (since the movie's success financed the moonlighting outfit), was the focus of the Florida project for several years. Mapo was eventually merged into the Imagineering department several years later. His team-which included his brother Roy, General Joe Potter (whom Walt met during the construction of the New York World's Fair), and several other members of the inner circle of Walt Disney Productions-started looking at available parcels of land in Central Florida. “Project X” was underway. After considering three possible sites in Florida, a location on the border of Orange and Osceola counties was chosen in 1964. Dummy corporations were set up and Disney agents, led by Robert Foster, secretary and general counsel for Disneyland, began buying land under phony names. Walt had the team work as quickly as possible, for he knew that as soon as word got out about a massive Disney land acquisition, property costs would go up tremendously. At one meeting, there was a large parcel of land in Orlando available for about $100 per acre. Walt said, “Buy it!” Roy asked, “But Walt, we already own 12,000 acres. Do we have the money?” Walt replied, “Roy, how would you like to own 7,000 acres around Disneyland right now?” to which Roy immediately responded, “Buy it!” Foster worked as surreptitiously as possible, flying through other cities so that his travel could not be traced directly back to California. He even made highly visible visits to the World's Fair construction site, only to quietly disappear to Florida the next day. The three earliest acquisitions would be 12,400 acres owned by a group of Orlando home builders, 1,250 acres owned by an Orlando investment group, and 8,500 acres owned by Florida state senator Irlo Bronson. The first major problem was acquiring the mineral rights for the 12,400-acre property, which Tufts University still owned after the surface rights were purchased by the Orlando home builders. Mineral rights were important since without it, Disney could not dig underground without permission, and Tufts could tear down any structure to get to the minerals. After the major properties were locked in, they began concentrating on all of the small outparcels. The acquisitions were tracked on a large map back at WED headquarters in Burbank, which Walt would check daily. By the time they were done, Disney owned over 27,000 acres, which came out to about 43 square miles-about twice the size of Manhattan, the same size as San Francisco, and about 150 times larger than Disneyland.

Zoning for livestock in Florida? Does anyone know a site that shows a map of it? In Pinealls County?

Does the North USA really want the South out? http://www.lewrockwell.com/yates/yates30.html Northerners Want Us Out? By All Means Let’s Oblige Them! by Steven Yates Johnny Jay: Did you know that there are some folks in the North that are tired of us Southerners and think we should be tossed out on our fannies? Billy Ray: You’re kidding me! Johnny Jay: No, it’s right here, in this column "Let’s Ditch Dixie" by Mark Strauss. Billy Ray: Never heard of him. Johnny Jay: He’s a senior editor at Foreign Affairs. That’s Council on Foreign Relations. Billy Ray: At least we know what to expect. Johnny Jay: Well, what he does is make fun of the League of the South and their Declaration of Southern Cultural Independence – signed last year in Montgomery. He also ridicules the Southern associations of folks like John Ashcroft and Gale Norton, calling the latter the GOP’s "honorary Dixie chick," but then he makes an allegation that’s nothing short of astounding – coming from a Yankee. Billy Ray: Which is? Johnny Jay: That the North and the South "can no longer claim to be one nation." Billy Ray: A Northerner said that? Johnny Jay: Yes, and a lot more besides. He mentions last year’s electoral map, but it’s almost like he saw the infamous county-by-county map and actually figured out what it means. The one showing all the "red counties" that voted for George W. Bush and all the "blue counties" that went for Al Gore. Billy Ray: They showed that counties full of our people, tending to be rural, Southern, or western – except for the heavy Hispanic regions way out west – tended to go for Bush. All the urban areas tended to go for Gore. Johnny Jay: True, but they also show how Bush won the South hands down, and that without the South he wouldn’t have won. He doesn’t think much of our culture, that’s for sure. He uses references to NASCAR and WCW fans to ridicule it. But the guy’s at least noticed – there’s something different about the South that makes it not like the North – meaning by that the Northeast, mainly. Billy Ray: And his conclusion is that instead of us having to fight our way free, like we tried to do just over 140 years ago, that we be kicked out instead? Johnny Jay: Here’s what he says: "… North and South should simply follow the example of the Czech Republic and Slovakia: shake hands, says [sic.] its been real, and go their separate ways. And if the South isn’t inclined to leave anytime soon, then we should show them the door by seceding unilaterally." Billy Ray: Northern secession?! Johnny Jay: Yup. He says we’re dominating them, because of Southerners in the White House, Southerners picking up population, votes in the Electoral College… Gore won California, New York and Pennsylvania, and he still couldn’t win the election. He couldn’t even win his home state. Billy Ray: Because of the Dixie mindset? Johnny Jay: Yup. This guy even says that the Democrats are becoming "Dixiefied." Yankee liberal progressives no longer have their own party. That explains Ralph Nader. But here’s the really good part. Listen to this: [Reads]: "The South is a gangrenous limb that should have been lopped off decades ago. More people live below the poverty line in the old Confederacy than in the Northeast and Midwest combined – " Billy Ray: Couldn’t their policies have something to do with that? Going all the way back to the War of Yankee Aggression that burned down our cities and towns and raped our land? We never really recovered. Johnny Jay: Could be. Anyway: "You are three times more likely to be murdered in parts of Dixie than anywhere in New England – " Billy Ray: Aw, c’mon, that’s horsehockey! Guess this guy’s never spent much time in New York City or downtown Washington, D.C. Johnny Jay: Doesn’t say. Goes on with more benefits to having an independent Northern state, though, such as – hmmm – higher average test scores, more opportunities for women, less opposition to gay rights. Billy Ray: More logical thought? Johnny Ray: He doesn’t go that far. Billy Ray: I hope not. Johnny Jay: But he does say that without Dixie the Northerns will be able to pass tougher gun laws, legislation barring discrimination against homosexuals, and that won’t have to deal with those annoying commercials offering Dale Earnhardt memorabilia for sale. Billy Ray: Ah. Why don’t we trade. We’ll keep our Dale Earnhardt memorabilia if they’ll keep their laws. If they want to disarm their own people and their own people don’t care, let ‘em. I rather like the idea, if the North is independent from us. Why don’t we give a good Rebel yell tell this guy, hell yeah, let’s go for it. We’ll leave you alone if you’ll leave us alone! I may not like their stupid laws, but I like this guy’s solution to his "Dixie problem." Johnny Jay: Well…. There’s a catch. Billy Ray: Oh? If it sounds too good to be true it usually is. What else does this joker say? Johnny Jay: He thinks that an independent North will be able to "cure" us Dixie-ites of our bad habits. Listen to this: [reading again]: "With the South banished from the Union, we could begin to correct the most objectionable aspects of Southern behavior with the same tools we use to engage countries such as China: by making trade and continued foreign aid contingent upon sincere efforts to clean up the environment and improve human rights. We could implement "Plan South Carolina" to convince tobacco growers to develop alternative crops. Northern observers could ensure democracy in Florida polling places. Peace Corps volunteers could teach the necessary skills – " Billy Ray: Whoa, wait just a cotton pickin’ minute! That’s not separation, that’s just more Yankee imperialism! Why should we want to trade with them, anyway? Johnny Jay: I guess this guy thinks we’ll end up like China. Billy Ray: Wonderful that he’s bothered to research the South and find out a little about us, isn’t it? Has he forgotten that a Southerner penned the Declaration of Independence? That our ancestors contributed massively to writing the U.S. Constitution – and then led to the adding of the Bill of Rights when it wasn’t clear that the Constitution didn’t centralize the new government too much? Johnny Jay: Oh, this Strauss fellow is in love with centralization. He’s Council on Foreign Relations, after all. Remember? Billy Ray: He hasn’t figured out yet that centralizing the government, the economy, you name it, doesn’t work? That it hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried? This guy talks out our test scores. Johnny Jay: Limited to "public school" kids. Billy Ray: Figures. They don’t teach about our ancestors there anymore, or so I hear. They’re more likely to teach tolerance and tree-hugging. I’ve heard they’re trying to introduce ethnic math, or something like that. Johnny Jay: That’s the Yankee influence. Or maybe Left Coast. Hard to tell, when you get right down to it. Billy Ray: Then that’s why the test scores are falling. And I hear theirs aren’t exactly setting the world on fire, either. Johnny Jay: No. They’re falling everywhere. Or so I hear. Not that that’s what counts. It’s not enough just to be educated. It helps to know what is right, and do it. Lenin and Stalin were both smart cookies, after all. Billy Ray: They’ll never get there by making homosexuals an affirmative action group. Johnny Jay: You know that, and I know it. Anyway – and this is really sad! – this guy Strauss’s piece ends by comparing us to the Russians. Billy Ray: He does what??? Johnny Jay: Just listen: "[T]he only obvious downside is that the South would almost certainly insist on keeping the 3,150 nuclear warheads that are scattered throughout Georgia, Texas, Louisiana and Virginia. Maybe we could strike a deal to get those nukes back, the same way Russia did with Ukraine after the Soviet Union broke up. If not, then perhaps national missile defense might not be such a bad idea after all." Billy Ray: That is sad! Not to mention paranoid. Sounds like he’s afraid of us. Johnny Jay: I rather agree. He’s right about the different cultures, though, and about how leftists keep running up against Dixie as the main factor keeping them from getting their way. So if it ever comes to pass that the powers that be up in Northern la-la land want us out, we ought to oblige them – so long as we close our borders afterwards! They won’t get our missiles, and they won’t be able to migrate down here in droves to escape their crime rate and their awful weather. Billy Ray: They’ll regret letting us go so easily. Johnny Jay: But it’ll be too late! [Smiles gleefully.] Billy Ray: So how’d they get that way. Guys like this Strauss, that is. Johnny Jay: Wasn’t from reading that other Strauss, that’s for sure. The one named Leo. Seriously, it goes back to what we were saying about centralization. We have these two basic philosophies, the one coming out of the Northeast that’s basically secular and materialist. The way it’s evolved, it favors expansionist government, high taxes to support it, welfare, dependency, gun control, multiculturalism, affirmative action, feminism, open homosexuality, bad food and bad music. The other comes from down here. We’re still basically Christian and want to depend only on God and our families, but otherwise on our own two feet in a free economy. We believe that independence is a good thing and that manliness is a good thing – that’s why so many of us are NASCAR fans, by the way. We like real men, not the silly flower children of Ivy League campuses and Left Coast beaches. And women who really are women, not Janet Renos and Donna Shalalas – or Hillary Clintons. We’re just daring the clowns running Washington to try and take away our guns. We think affirmative action is nothing more than quotas and preferences that discriminate against white men. We don’t think men and women are interchangeable. We’re still ‘backward’ and think homosexuality is a sin. We’re loyal to something besides money and power. Our sense of place is reflected in our music. We prefer songs like "Sweet Home Alabama" to noise-set-to-a-beat about killing cops. Ever hear anybody call New York City or Washington, D.C., "sweet" anything? But anyway, it all comes down to this: accept the world view that’s taken over the North and you get one solution whether you realize it or not: in the last analysis, power gets the last word. That’s why they end up trying to centralize everything in sight. That’s why even after they’ve kicked us Dixie-ites out, they’ll conduct an economic war of imperialism designed to control us, to rid themselves of our "corrupting" influences. Behind all the power-obsession, though, is something they dare not face – not honestly, anyway. A sort of emptiness. The emptiness of the soul that comes from accepting that this life is all you have, that morality is just a man-made creation, and that you might as well grab for whatever goodies you can get because once it’s over, it’s over. Billy Ray: Hmmm! Sad. But if they ever want us out and they mean it…. Johnny Jay: Then I guess we’ll have to oblige them. Billy Ray: This is just one writer, though, for a Northern Internet site hardly anyone reads because it’s so liberal. The folks running the Washington Empire wouldn’t let us go so easily. Johnny Jay: ‘Fraid not. Billy Ray: They’d miss those vacation spots too much once we closed our borders. Johnny Jay: And don’t forget that terrific mustard-based barbecue sauce we’ve got down here in South Carolina! Billy Ray: That too! Johnny Jay: Well, I’ve had some Boston clam chowder. It was pretty good. Billy Ray: [Looks contrite.] Oh, I’m sorry. They’ve accomplished one thing up there…. March 24, 2001 Steven Yates has a Ph.D. in Philosophy and is the author of Civil Wrongs: What Went Wrong With Affirmative Action (ICS Press, 1994). He is presently compiling selected essays into a single volume tentatively entitled View From the Gallery and a work on a second book, The Paradox of Liberty. He also writes for the Edgefield Journal, and is available for lectures. He lives in Columbia, South Carolina. Copyright © 2001 LewRockwell.com